To be honest I try to write a letter every month but I skipped March because I don’t like to think about my fears. I feel like to a lot of people when they hear the word fear they think of clowns, spiders, darkness etc. When I hear that word I think of my daughter. I fear for her for many reasons. I fear I might not be here to watch her grow up and have her own family, I fear that we won’t be as close as me and my mother were, I fear for her safety, mental health etc as the world is constantly changing, mostly I fear that once she is old enough to realize she is adopted she won’t love me the same as she does know. My greatest fear is hearing the words “you’re not my real mother.” I can guarantee that even if she was my own blood, I couldn’t love her anymore than I do now. This fear is strange because at the end of everyday this one fear makes me want to do and be better for her. I want to face this fear because we are never promised tomorrow and I hope to make as many memories with her as I possibly can. For those of you who might be wondering…I do not fear death. I just want to be around for her as long as can. This might stem from me losing my mother to soon but anyways I’m starting to ramble. Till next time folks.

OAKLEY