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Lifeline at 800.273.TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting MHC to 741741.
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105 Responses
I’ve been dealing with a lot of grief the past few years, and as it is for many, those feelings are kind of compounded around the holidays.
My little sister died almost three years ago, and I don’t think I ever fully processed that. She was my best friend, and then she was in an accident and was just gone. I had to cut ties with my emotionally abusive father not long after she died- he became much less tolerable and manageable after her death (and I get it, he lost a kid. She was just a teenager. But he got so bad, I couldn’t tell what was real anymore or if I was the problem etc. etc., and really, it had been going on for much longer before her death than I realized). Most recently, we had to make the decision to put my dog down because he was attacked by another, much larger dog, and could not survive the injuries he sustained.
I already struggle with anxiety and depression, but I’ve found my routine and they are very manageable for me. It’s just during these times when there’s a lot of shit happening that it gets to be a lot and I’m feeling like things just don’t make a lot of sense lately. I never really understood what people meant when they said that people don’t really care because I feel that I care deeply about people (I HOPE that comes across to the people I meet). But it’s kind of true in these situations; if the people you know haven’t gone through these things, they just don’t know what to say or how to help. Which is fine, it’s not their fault- it just sucks. The problem is, it’s made me feel incredibly alone in these aspects of my life over the past couple years. I’m a classical musician and yeah, it helps that my job is my passion and I can pour my hurt into music, so I really am trying to keep moving forward with it. But I guess I just need a little more of… something.
I’m not entirely sure of what I’m asking for. I think I just needed to share and maybe be heard by anyone who knows what this is like without being pitied.
Wow. Your story is heartbreaking – but I’m not sure that’s what you need to hear – you know that better than anyone. I’m glad you’re sharing here. All that grief all at once is something not many people experience. The level of loss sounds staggering. Pain of loss is kind of universal and I think most of us who have sustained compounded loss of one kind or another – especially when someone dies – would say most people don’t know how to speak to it – and actually shouldn’t try. I remember feeling totally alone when I lost total contact with my godson – whom I raised since he was 2 – I haven’t seen or spoken to him in 6 years – but he’s not gone so maybe someday. I lost complete touch with one of my best friends at the same time – and another very close friend passed suddenly. I felt alone. But yah it was so uncomfortable being pitied – for me the struggle was wanting people around and hating it when they were because of how awkward everyone was. I did find some growth in learning it was ok to be alone – sucky as it was – and that it wasn’t forever. What I hope for you is that you find people – or they find you – who are ok with you being however you need to be and are willing to just be around – love you and not feel the need to fix you. I had that and it helped so much. I’m glad and proud of you that you’re able to pour your heart into your music. I’m a songwriter/composer – not classical – but I allowed it all to dry up my creativity. I went numb to cope – for too long. We all I guess need to find that one thing that makes us OK – for me it is – was – will be – a relationship with God – but I know that each of us needs to find our own way. I have no idea if this is at all helpful – but I wanted to let you know I hear you – and think you’re brave and strong. I’ll be praying that what you need finds you 😊.
Hey my name is Alice, I’m 15 and I am gay. I wish I weren’t. I have had boyfriends and I’ve had boys I convinced myself were cute so I could relate to my friends about their boy dramas. But I’ve never been attracted to a boy, not even a little. I get crushes on girls all the time and I wish I were more okay with it.
I think of myself as bi because I’m trying to convince myself I am. Like, I wanna get married to a boy, not a girl, and have kids with him. I wanna look at boys and make a face so my friend knows I think he’s cute.
Why can’t I fall in love with boys and why isn’t there anything I can do about it?
I’m also really scared to ever come out. I don’t wanna be the gay girl. I wanna be me. I know by experience that even if people say they accept you, and even if they actually do, I will be known as the lesbian. AND I DONT WANT THAT.
So either I keep it to myself my entire life (experiment a bit in college lol), get married to man and have kids with him and just pretend I’m totally in love with him. As long as he doesn’t find out it won’t hurt him. Or I tell people I’m gay, bet known as the gay kid, marry a woman which I don’t want, and adopt kids with her.
Sorry if it’s poorly written I’m freaking out rn.
Also I really liked the book take care everyone <3<3<3
Dear Alice,
I know things are tough right now. Being 15 is a scary thing. Being gay can be a scary thing too. But I assure you it’s not. The thing is, I’ve been where you are. The idea of being under the microscope of high school, the fear of rejection and feeling like all eyes are on you. At 15 I knew I was different and I was afraid. I was afraid of what my family thought, what my friends thought, what my peers thought. I let my fears dictate my life for a long time. I was raised by a Catholic mom and a republican dad. I was also the oldest of 3 girls. I came out as trans about 6 years ago. Before that, I lived so many lies. I hurt myself and others in order to keep up the charade of being a girl. The more I lied, the more I started to resent myself. I resented who I was as a person. And after a stupid night out, I had decided to fix the solution. I was drunk, depressed, and I was letting my inner demons win. So I made a call. One final cry of help before I let the darkness take over completely. It saved my life. I’m happy now. I’m the man I’ve always wanted to be. I’m happily married to a beautiful man who my family absolutely loves. My sisters are always by my side and I know without a doubt that my mom always has my back. My dad is still working on things. I won’t lie and say our relationship is strong since everything, but I see the way he tries. Being gay does t have to be scary. You being gay does not define you as a person. Just like me being trans doesn’t define me as a person. It’s as simple as telling a person your zodiac sign at times. The community is a beautiful thing and getting to be a part of it is amazing. You’ll learn things along the way. It won’t always be an easy journey. But life never gives you something you can’t handle. As far as coming out goes, you get to decide who and where and when you do it. You’ll have to come out the rest of your life. But you’ve already did the biggest and most important one. The one to yourself. It won’t always be easy and I won’t lie, sometimes you have to lie in order to keep yourself safe. But no matter what happens to you, you are never alone in this world. You’ll learn that created families are just as important as blood. People will come and go. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from the narrative. But you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life kid. Embrace everything about you. We can’t always choose where we come from, but we can choose where we go from there. I hope this helps in any way, shape, or form. Know that you are never alone and that this community will always have your back. I will always have your back.
Love,
Tori
Alice!
I’m glad you shared what you did and put yourself out there given how conflicted you are about your sexuality. I’m also gay and came out when I was 25 (I’m 37 now). I get your fear of coming out and being seen/known as the gay kid as opposed to as Alice, a multifaceted human. I think so much of that (the fear and reality of it) is rooted in how heteronormative our society is and how straightness is assumed. Straight people come out all the time, but because that identity is assumed, no one reacts to those moments. When queer people break those norms, it sticks out…which is why coming out is a thing and leads to the internal struggles you’ve mentioned in your post. Because of other queer stereotypes, coming out can make people feel like they don’t know you anymore…that they have to re-understand you with gay being part of your identity…when in reality, who we are attracted to doesn’t change who we are. I hope that you come to understand your queerness as being a really cool part of who you are as opposed to something worth hiding or ignoring. It might not be safe for you to come out now or even for a while, but I hope you can find ways to embrace your sexuality and understand it and process your relationship to it. Forcing yourself/choosing to be with a man when you’re not really into it feels like compromising your true self for other people’s comfort and living a life that isn’t fully authentic, and you deserve better than that. Everyone does. We get so much messaging about queerness being bad, but I hope you come to see it as a beautiful thing. No matter what, you will always be more than simply your sexuality and anyone who reduces you to only being gay is missing out on your fullness, complexity, and beauty. I’ll end by saying that understanding who we are, who we are attracted to, who we want to be with, and the kind of life we want to live are things we always have to reflect on…they are lifelong things worth considering. This can seem daunting, but I like thinking about it as one of the coolest parts of being a human; we are always in a state of becoming, growing and evolving and learning more about ourselves. So know that you’ll continue learning about your sexuality and you don’t have to figure everything out right now. Good luck to you .
Hi Alice! Firstly, putting something you’re so scared of out there like this is so brave, and even if it’s a part of yourself that you’re not very happy with right now, just know I (and I’m sure so many others) are so proud of you!
When I was around your age, I had a boyfriend who I was absolutely obsessed with. Because of that, when I got a bit older and started realising I felt something more than friend feelings for girls, I convinced myself that it couldn’t be right and that I just really admired those girls rather than had any kind of feelings for them (I can tell you now, I definitely did have those feelings). It’s a scary realisation at first, especially if there aren’t many other gay people around you, and the things you’re feeling are such common things to feel. That worry and apprehension, it’s so so normal. The good thing about all of this, however, is you’re still young and you don’t have to figure everything out right this second. You’ll probably feel things for lots of different people throughout the years, whether they’re boys, girls or otherwise. And you know what? If they are girls, that’s okay! Especially because those things you’re worrying about, when you find the right person, are not going to matter to you anymore.
I used to worry that if I ended up with a girl, I wouldn’t be able to have a baby or lead that “normal” life people seem to strive for. I’m now 32, happily married to the most amazing woman, and we’re currently a week into IVF treatment in hopes of having our first baby!
You have plenty of time before you need to worry about who you’re going to settle down with, though. Exploring what you do and don’t like is exactly what your twenties are for, and as you become more comfortable in yourself, you’re going to become more comfortable with the people you are and aren’t attracted to.
Whoever you are and whoever you choose to love, you’re going to one day be so happy with that person, and the people who matter are going to be so happy that you’re happy. I promise everything will work out, even though it might seem impossible right now. Until then, try to surround yourself with people who might be going through the same things – there are lots of Facebook groups (and probably other social media groups) you can join where you’ll find other people dealing with the same confusing feelings. Working through those things together could help ease the burden for you.
Lastly, if it does turn out you are gay or bi or anything other than 100% straight, you don’t have to come out to anyone until you’re completely ready. There is absolutely no time limit on this – you just continue being you, and when/if you’re ready to let other people know, then you will.
I hope you’re able to take some comfort in my story, and that you know there are always people who will be here to listen to you and who are rooting for you.
Ellie 🤍
Hi. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and very bad days of depression lately. I love my friends and family but some days it just feels like it’s all too much. I loved your guys book and that really did help me. But I just wish things would get better and I won’t be sad all the time. I know things will get better (people tell me that) but right now it doesn’t feel that way to me
Kaitlin –
I’m so glad you reached out on this site. I’m sorry that you’re struggling. When I struggled with depression – when I was younger- it was hard for me to hear “it will get better” – to me that sounded like someone who cared but wasn’t comfortable with me feeling what I felt – or just didn’t know what else to say. It is hard for people around us who care to see us hurting. I needed someone – professional- to help me sort out why I was so sad and that really did help me. A professional also helped me to help my friends and family know how to be there for me. It helped me to be able to ride out my down days without adding any more stress or anxiety about feeling what I was feeling. It also helped me to deliberately focus on what was good in my life – even one thing a day – and promise myself to do at least one thing I liked each day – even if I didn’t feel like it.
Don’t know if this helps – but I hope so … and I have great hope for you that it really will get better ❤️🩹 you’ll find help and support. Working thru this stuff will make you strong. You are strong. You shared it 😊.
Greetings! I’ve been following your web site for a long time now
and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from New Caney Texas!
Just wanted to mention keep up the good work!
I would love to hear from someone who is currently trying to accept that what their heart wants to do, their mind thinks they’re capable of and their body can actually do DO NOT match up.
I’m having a very hard time accepting my permanent disability because my heart would love to be able to do so many things, and my brain still is under the impression it can, but my body just physically can’t do much anymore. There are a few accommodations that can be made, but not enough in my opinion, and due to my poor physical health and being in constant pain, my mental health is tanking quite rapidly.
My birthday is coming up soon, and this is not at all like I thought my life would be like. It’s hard to find young people (20’s-30’s) who have the same issues as I do, to relate to, because all my peers are either seriously dating, getting married or are married and starting families. Every single one of my friends have successful jobs & due to my disability I can no longer work. The only people I know who are also unable to work and have physical health issues are ALL old & would be retired even if they weren’t disabled.
I don’t feel like I’m contributing anything to society and although I DO volunteer, it’s embarrassing to have to say I’m unable to hold a job anymore. Also, since I’m not working, it means money is a struggle too & trying to make ends meet living $1.5k below the US poverty level is very difficult.
I’m really struggling with living in a VERY non accessible and ableist world, and have realized I have a lot of internalized ableism as well, because of all the horrible, negative things people have done or said to me.
I’m sorry this was so long, so thank you for reading this far if you did.
I would appreciate ANY words of support, quotes, advice or even just a response that is like, “your feelings are valid” or “I get it, I’m going through that too” would be absolutely amazing.
That is NOT an uncommon feeling. Maybe you should look into finding a support group. I’ve seen many disabled young people on you tube post about their daily struggles, etc. Sometimes just a simple reminder that you’re not alone can go long ways. You may even create some new friends who understand what you are going through
I was diagnosed with adhd when i was a kid, and struggle with it daily. (i am in my early 20’s now) I often question why I act the way I do, but realize that adhd is not “curable”, so I’m going to have to face this everyday. – I do take medication and that is helpful to an extent. On the bright side, the past few years, I have learned a lot of new things about adhd and myself thanks to a lot of great resources I’ve come across online . I recently learned about RSD- rejection sensitive dysphoria for example and that was lifechanging.. also learned about how adhd and depression are linked anyways if anyone has any advice on how to not be too hard on myself about this, or any other tips navigational this, that would be cool.
Hi! It sounds like you’re handling the ADHD pretty well. I was in my late 30s when I was diagnosed. Growing up with it when no one really knew what it was – was challenging. I’m so glad you have sought out resources to help. Your brain is unique and beautiful! I think maybe we tend to focus on the things we “can’t” do like other people- instead of the things we can do that others may not be able to do. I was lucky enough to fall into a career that allowed me to work with my brain instead of against it – well except for detailed paperwork and data collection- but if we lean into what we are good at and allow ourselves to be creative in how we get things done – when we get things done and not try to force ourselves to do things the way other people do – I think maybe we can find some advantages? For example- I know that if I try to do things I struggle to focus on way ahead of time – I will do anything but. I have to take tasks apart and feel good when I get each tiny step done – and just know there will be a last minute push and an all nighter in the mix and just go with it without feeling down on myself for “poor planning”. It also helps me to let my friends know that when I just can’t focus on their small talk – it’s not them and it’s not that I don’t care – it’s something I struggle with. We try together to find ways they can communicate with me in smaller bites and express affection in different ways.
Anyway – hang in there – and see your differences as something wonderful about you! Sounds like you are well on your way!
I struggle every day with needless worry. I always think something bad is going to happen to the people I love. If I hear an emergency vehicle I think it is one of my family members was in an accident . I awfulize everything. If some has a headache I think it’s a brain tumor . Nothing is fun to me anymore
Kim, you say that it is needless worry. If there is something that you experienced that triggered this in you in your past, I think it would be wise to talk to a counselor or therapist. But I would also urge you start finding your joy. If you have a copy of the book, there is a letter called Find Your Joy. Start with something small that makes you smile. It could be anything from reading a poem that makes you happy, to going to a dog park and watching the dogs joyfully playing with each other. Experience, enjoy and repeat. Each day do something to bring a smile to your face, like giving a flower to an elderly neighbor. At the end of the day, remember the good moments you have experienced and make it a habit. It will help you achieve some balance from your concerns.
Did something happen to make you start feeling this way? Are you on any anxiety medication?
Kim, just stay strong and take it one day at a time. Take slow breaths.
Kim,
Please just take it a day at a time. You’ll be fine, been a tough time for all of us, but will get through this.
I want to hear from other people who experience mental health issues and autoimmune disease, and what they feel like the relationship between the two is.
Autoimmune is your body fighting itself and it can be very stressful, painful, depressing and cause all types of issues. However, I do believe that having an autoimmune disease can increase your mental health challenge. A lot of people get told “they are faking it” or “ exaggerating” their symptoms at first and it can make them start to question their sanity and feel like they are going crazy and just feel helpless until they get a proper diagnoses.
Mental health can be such a wide range of topics but it is up to you to ask for help and let people know what is going on. It is up to you to continue to seek help, surround yourself with positive people/energy. Trauma, anxiety, secrets, life altering events can lead to mental health struggles. I everyone struggles with their mental health at least once in their life even if they don’t talk about it.
The only relation to me is docs trying to put you on medicine, people judging you, people being afraid to say what is really going on
I think having mental health issues can make your health worse and having an auto immune disorder may challenge your mental health
Hi,
I have a couple autoimmune and chronic illnesses as well as anxiety and ptsd. I’m currently in college and I can honestly tell you it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Managing school while struggling with mental health is hard in and of itself but then add in the fact that some days my body refuses to function and it feels virtually impossible. I’m still figuring it out. It took me a long time to resign myself to the fact that getting perfect grades in my situation isn’t realistic. I still get that heavy feeling in my stomach when I have to ask for extensions on assignments because I spent the time I allotted to complete them curled up in pain, throwing up, or passed out on my floor. People don’t understand and there are days that I hate that it’s my responsibility to educate them but there’s not a lot I can do to change it. Taking care of my mental health is super hard when my physical health won’t let me get out of bed. I mean come on… how am I supposed to calm myself down with a walk in the woods or even just going outside if I can’t walk ten steps without getting too lightheaded to be up. I think my mental health and physical health are often tied together more intricately than for other people. One informs the other and it’s super hard to manage everything at once. I hope this is what you were looking for, or at the very least it helps you feel a little less alone. You got this! <3
My name is Kaitlin and I have suffered with anxiety most of my life but it’s gotten worse as an adult. It has caused a lot of issues in my life. I worry about a lot of things, did I close the door? Did I turn oven off? And panic about mistakes made at work and things like that. And then came the depression. It affected my daily life, caused issues in my relationship and made me feel so alone. I’ve done a lot of work on myself and along with medication, I’m a lot better than I was. I still have really low days where all I want to do is crawl into a hole. But I also have a lot of good days. Mental health is very important to me. But their are days where I just need to be told that everything is going to be okay.
Hey Kaitlin,
Everything is going to be ok!! I can’t even count the amount of times where I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if the oven is off, did I lock something, did I forget to do something, did I email that person like I was supposed to… and before I know it I’ve been up for hours and feel anxious the next day because my sleep cycle has been disrupted. It’s a sucky cycle. I get it. And there are weeks where everything feels good so it makes the low days even more disappointing. BUT! If you can remember that the good days come back around if you just let yourself have a moment you’ll realize that everything is going to be ok!
Kaitlin,
Everything will be alright, as hang in there.
Heya i’m for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out a lot.
I hope to give something back and aid others like you helped me.
i’m a 14 year old girl and i’m struggling mentally. i have been for a long time. my childhood was nothing but trama filled. i often feel guilty for the things that happened to me or feel embarrassed that i’m still trying to come out of a trama filed household. mental health is my biggest struggle. i just wanted to be heard and maybe some advice so i decided to come on here. my goal is to get better and get help but i don’t know how to ask or get help.
Hi Peyton,
Asking for help and naming your feelings is hard. I definitely couldn’t do that when I was 14. Guilt and shame are so often intertwined with trauma and difficulties in childhood. It can helpful to write down your thoughts and review what things are in your control. Small things make a big difference, spend time outside, recite things you are proud of and grateful for each night. Keep reaching out to people you respect and look up to. You are not alone.
Hey Peyton,
When I was 14 I was really struggling too. My house wasn’t super stable and I didn’t know how to get out, ask for help, or move forward. So I hear you and I’m really sorry because I know firsthand how much it sucks.
First, I want to say (and I know this is way easier said than done) that you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty or embarrassed about. Regardless of literally anything you possibly could have done, you don’t deserve to go through trauma. You deserve to feel safe and loved in your house, and if you can’t or don’t have that then you deserve to have access to the help you need to get out of that situation. But you my dude are not a burden and you deserve to be able to exist without trauma.
To offer a little advice, I’d suggest picking someone you trust, maybe a friend’s parent, a school counselor, a teacher, a coach, or someone like that, and telling them what’s going on. You can really directly ask for things if you know specifics on what you need or you can be vague and just tell them you need some help. It’s not going to be easy, but trust me, it feels better once you have someone to share the pain with.
I’m so so glad that your goal is to get better. Hold onto that. That goal is yours and nobody can take it away from you. It’ll be really hard but you can do it. I know I’m just some random college senior on the internet, but for what it’s worth I believe in you. You can do this. Feel free to reply back to this and let me know how you’re doing!
xo Kai
I’m a 14 year old girl whose struggling with anxiety. My exam weeks are coming up and I really need some way to cope with the stress from the exams & the revision. I feel like my exams never reflect how much I understand the topics because whenever I sit them I genuinely feel sick. Revising has put a toll on me and I just want to know that what I’m feeling is understandable, and need someway to handle the stress.
My daughter hasn’t spoken to me for 7 years. I haven’t seen or even heard her voice since she was 16 years old. I accept the blame as I broke up our family by my initiating divorce & then my struggles with depression. Every day I open my eyes & can still hear her voice when she was little. Every morning I have to put my heart back together. On the bright side, my daughter is a college grad, seems happy on instagram & has a boyfriend. Knowing (hoping) she isn’t carrying depression is enough for me.
Liz – I feel you. I can’t actually imagine what it’s like not speaking to your actual child – I havent spoken to my godson – whom I raised since he was 2 (with his mom) since 2020. That ache doesn’t go away. The most I can do is pray. He is with his dad who alienated him from his mom. That was heartbreaking to watch – he was her world. I will pray for you for some comfort and that you will be able to reconcile some day. I hope that forgiveness and healing can flow through your family – that you can forgive yourself and only own what was truly yours – and that you all will find some joy in spite of it all. The love doesn’t go away, does it? I hope there is some way you can let your daughter know you love her. Don’t know if this helps but – I will be thinking of you!
I just came out a queer to my parents and brother last month. I want to start to start dating but I want to do it without my parents asking more questions than if my dating life was straight relationships. I want them to be lowkee about it. I still have alot of internal struggles accepting who I am. I’m also not out to everyone so worry about my work finding out if I use dating apps. Any advice? Thank you
I am 14 year old boy with depression and dealing with it plus school is quite stressful and trying to deal with both kind of Left me not maintaining friendships and i get classmates who bullied and mock me which only add on the stressful making me feel worthless and alone.
Chase, you are so brave for sharing your story. Please continue to be brave and know you just helped me .
I have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and I struggle a lot with maintaining friendships & relationships. It’s honestly exhausting and I know nobody in real life that deals with this disorder, and almost noone online. I wish there was more representation of what this illness looks like. There is a lot of demonizing and hate towards bpd-strugglers 🙁
I’m young and still in school, I can’t talk to anyone because they don’t understand. I am a girl who likes lots of activities and things that girls don’t usually like and find it hard to fit in or to find friends who enjoy the same company as me. I get a lot of sexist comments toward me and get teased and mocked about the things that I do enjoy.
Hey, i totally get you.
I always had the weirdest hobbys and thing i liked. I grew up liking Marvel, Star Wars and Dinosaurs. I played stick-fight with the boys in my class and did judo and football in my freetime. Tho i changed Hobbys nearly every two months. Girls didn‘t understand and disliked me, later boys did too. I recently turned 21 and i found friends (of all genders) that have the same interests and don’t care if i am male or female, gay or straight, they care about me and like what i do, they don’t judge.
Listen, being young is hard, going in school was really hard for me too. But it gets better, trust me. You will find people who share your hobbies and interests and who will love you for who you are, never let other people ruin what you love. Be yourself, be proud of yourself, and give a sht about what others think because this is YOUR and only YOUR life. I just realized i‘m 1 1/2 years late
I believing september letters to be excelent.
I am 24 and still living with my parents. I don’t know what to do with my life. I feel like a failure. I try to have hope that everything will turn out fine but with everything going on I just feel lost. I don’t know what to do.
this is my current situation as well, i hope you’re doing better now!!
I want to share my words with the world. I need to have an impact but I can’t. I’m one single person out of a billion in this world, my voice means nothing but I need it to, I crave it too. I don’t want people to know who I am, I want them to know my memories and words. I see words and I connect with them more than anything. Music is an outlet; people can write their stories and share them with the world. Their voice is understood and loved. I want my thoughts to reach people.
Your voice matters
I can absolutely relate. I feel like sometimes I try too hard to be heard but I’m just overlooked. The only time I get heard is when I have to yell and scream and even have a panic attack. I want to help so many out there like me but that means telling my story but I have people in my life who think it’s not the right thing to do. But I just want to be understood and help people without disappointing my loved ones. But just know you are heard and your voice is important and so special. I am here for you and your voice.
I want to share my words with the world. I need to have an impact but I can’t. I’m one single person out of a billion in this world, my voice means nothing but I need it to, I crave it too. I don’t want people to know who I am, I want them to know my memories and words. I see words and I connect with them more than anything. Music is an outlet; people can write their stories and share them with the world. Their voice is understood and loved. I want my thoughts to reach people.