Smile Through Your Tears: From E

For some, saying goodbye is a weight off their shoulders, letting a sense of relief envelop them. For others, they can mumble a light goodbye and turn away because they were only mere acquaintances. Still for others, it can be cheerful, because separation would be short. But what about the forever ones?

When I think about how “practice makes perfect”, I realise that no matter how many times I say goodbye, I will never truly perfect the art of saying goodbye. There is just something so unique to each goodbye. But I think we can all agree that having to bid farewell to something, someone we love, is heart-wrenching.

For me, it was very difficult. And even though I have come to terms with it now, I absolutely cannot imagine having to go through it all over again. But I came to this realisation recently, that actually, all goodbyes have to be said either way, so to dwell on it would be our loss.

This epiphany I had really isn’t much, yet it has helped me realise that I have been putting the emphasis on the wrong thing. I had been too focused on the goodbye, when instead I should focus on the memories made instead. The goodbye was already predetermined; we all know that all good things come to an end, right? What is special, however, are the memories we have made together.

In our lives, we undoubtedly will have to keep saying goodbye. That experience which has caused us so much heartache and pain, we leave with a happy and willing heart. But to say goodbye to that experience which we want to hold on to so dearly, the one we had to let go off reluctantly, the one that we still long to relive, that is punishing.

There is a saying that goes, “even when the smiles fade and the tears dry, the memories will last forever”. I had never truly appreciated this saying until I had to experience a farewell. Saying goodbye to something or someone we love is not easy, but we always have a choice. We can choose to let saying goodbye, a short and insignificant portion of the journey, be an ugly mark on that whole experience, or we can choose to instead focus on the beautiful memories we have made and let that be the lasting impression we have of that experience.

If we choose to focus on the goodbye itself, we find ourselves constantly lamenting why the time we had was so short, why we had to say goodbye. We will be perpetually unsatisfied, because even if we were given an infinite number of days together, we will still always regret that the time spent together was not enough.

But if, through the process of bidding farewell, we choose to treasure and hold dearly the precious memories we have made, then I believe saying goodbye will not be as devastating.

Ultimately, lasting goodbyes are not inherently sad or happy; it all depends on the choices you make. For me, I will always choose the latter, because I believe goodbyes can be goodbyes when we choose to focus on what truly matters.

Author’s note: I hope this September Letter provided peace and healing to people who have lost friends, family members, pets, objects, whatever it is, that they love. This is a letter to
remind you that no, you’re not in this alone. It is okay to cry, to weep, but at the end of the day, I hope you look back on the sunshine and rainbows that you have shared with _____, that you
will at least be able to smile through your tears <3