Letter to myself: From Amber

To my younger self and my saboteur who still tries to penetrate my thoughts now and again!

Our favorite song lyric is from the Mary J Blige song Reflections (I Remember). Mary sings, “I may not be what I’m supposed, but I can tell you right now I ain’t what I used to be.”

You have lived a less-than-perfect life. But the beauty of life is that you live and you learn. You make decisions along the way. All of these decisions continue to bring you where you currently are. Some of those decisions may not have been the best, but it doesn’t really matter because you are where you are right now. You made it through some hard times. Some really bullshit times. And people weren’t good around you. But you made it. You fucking made it. And you continue to embrace yourself. But you do so in ways that are better for you. You still have dreams to reach so that will require some discipline, which has never failed you before when you were feeling a little lost. Man, just look at you. You ain’t what you used to be! You did that. It was all you. Every step of the way, when others walked away you were there. You worked through some emotions and you weren’t/aren’t afraid at all of diving into the why’s. Suddenly that matters more than anything. It’s okay to not worry about what others think. It’s okay to make decisions without the input of others. It’s okay to be who you are. Shine, shine, shine. I love you…. I love you for your humor, I love you for your strength, I love you for your compassion. And all that really really matters is that you love you. Every decision you make should be solely yours because ultimately you are here because of you. So step into each morning with confidence that you will be who you are at your core and that is enough. You are more than enough! Mary’s final lyrics of the same song say, “The reflections of my life, I see the lessons that I’ve learned and now I know heartbreak don’t exist when it’s been torn apart by love.” When you love yourself, really love yourself, you won’t make decisions that will break your heart. Heartbreak won’t exist when it’s been torn apart by love! So love you as I love you at this very moment!

BE YOU!

Love,
Me