She needed a hero: from Kim Shapira M.S., R.D.

Dear September, 

I think one of the main questions we ask ourselves is how we became the person we are today. For me there was a defining moment that sent me on my path. It was the summer of 1986. I remember the afternoon like it was yesterday. I was 12 years old

and that day I had been playing with my brother in the pool. We were doing underwater somersaults while holding hands. By accident he kicked me right in the gut, so hard it knocked the wind right out of me. Coincidently, that night I ended up with the worst stomach ache one could imagine. This was not a normal stomach ache. Did my

brother hurt me? No, but something ended up being very wrong. Thus, beginning my journey.

After seeing many doctors and having one exploratory surgery I found myself at UCLA with specialists at the top Gynecological practice in the country. Picture me, fragile, shy,

sensitive, vulnerable, and scared. I wasn’t a sophisticated kid. And I was trapped in some sort of horror movie with doctors, nurses and med. students poking and prodding me. I had lost the right over my own body, I had become a medical guinea pig. Clearly

ready for a nervous breakdown. Being in pain all the time was life altering and at times unbearable. Life was passing me by and I was so exposed. Thankfully these top doctors had a plan and knew how to fix me, but it meant a serious invasive surgery, and experimental because it had never been done successfully. A procedure that no 12

year old girl could ever be prepared for. Apparently I had a congenital abnormality obstructing my bodies natural process, and I needed reconstructive surgery to allow my body to function properly. It sounds simple now, but back then there had only been

eight other cases. I had my first surgery on Halloween and a quick follow up soon after. They both failed. More obstacles in my journey! It wouldn’t be until April of the following year where I would have my final surgery. This surgery took place on my 13th birthday I would

have to wait to know if it worked, only time would tell. Once during rounds one of my doctors came to visit me bringing me a birthday card. I remember her standing next to my hospital bed. Her hands were behind her back and she was gazing at the wall were

I had some cards hanging. She said out of the blue, “the thing about babies is that it would be okay if I never gave birth because it’s really painful”. I didn’t like her very much. Thankfully, I really loved at least one of my doctors. I would go on to meet with him every Wednesday all through high school, up until I was 30 when he retired. He

was gentle and kind and would sit with me at each appointment and answer my endless questions. Always offering hope.

Why am I telling you this? Because this moment in time put my life at a crossroad. One way was full of missed opportunity from my obstacles while the other was a path of seeing the obstacles as lessons. I choose the path of seeing the lessons as part of my

wellness journey. I learned early on and first hand that feeling good was the most important thing. Had I not gone through this, I’m not sure I ever would have begun the journey I am still on today. Health is wellness and wellness is something that encompasses all things physical, mental and spiritual.

That third surgery fixed my body. But my mind still needed help.

And when I look back and see my shy, little, sad 12 year old self with skinned knees from playing ball in the street, I send her so much love and gratitude because she didn’t know the storm she was in was going to pass but stayed on the journey anyway. And I

would tell her she has three beautiful daughters that she birthed via C-Section even after a doctor placed doubt in her young mind.

We all have stories, hard life lessons. I can tell you all about the shame I felt, or the embarrassing stories that took place during this year and the ones that followed, or the fear I felt, even the loss but when I look back all I see is dusting off after each obstacle,

learning to appreciate the climb, and learning to trust myself. This journey gave me the tools to be my own hero.

How’s my mind now? Still on the journey, working on accepting the moment. I know I can only control my reactions and I am still choosing the road of wellness.

I hope this letter helps someone stay on their path.

With so much gratitude,

Kim Shapira M.S., R.D.

xx