I have Masklophobia.
This is the fear of mascots or people dressed up in costumes. I don’t tell a lot of people this simply because I don’t want to be judged. Only my closest friends and of course, my family knows. Now, normally, people know why they have such a bad fear of something, but I have no idea why I have this fear. It started when I was a baby, and just kind of escalated from there. When I was younger, I thought that it was okay to tell people that I had this fear. I told my teachers, friends that I wasn’t as close with as some others, and my close friends as well. They all looked at me and asked this question, “sooo….you just have a bad fear of clowns then?”. No, That’s where people make the common mistake of having a fear of mascots is the same thing as having a bad fear of clowns. I can’t explain it well, and I can definitely not speak on other people’s behalf, but for me, clowns actually aren’t scary at all. The mascots on the other hand, those are a whole different story. I won’t get all into it because I don’t want to waste too much of your time, But when I see a mascot, the first thing that happens is that I get a feeling that my stomach is just empty, and my hands get sweaty (sorry, I know that’s kind of gross). Then, my heart starts to race and I just start to cry. Other things happen as well but those are the ones that I can say with confidence happen. Even making this letter is making me sort of freak out a bit. I’m often told that I just need to grow up and stop being a big baby about it, that it’s just a man in a costume. I try my best to not freak out and stay calm but once I see it or someone tells me that one is in the building, I forget everything that I’ve been told about how to stay calm and my emotions take over me. I don’t want to be afraid of them, I try really hard not to be, But it’s just not possible. My friends that know this try to be supportive, and I really appreciate them for that. They are the best of friends that I could ever ask for. But, even they sometimes say some things that make me feel like I’m all alone and have no one to talk to about this weird, awful fear that I have. I had a friend tell me a couple days ago that she didn’t think that having a fear of mascots is terrible. I have never been told that it wasn’t bad, and that I was allowed to have this fear and not think that it was weird or funny to have it. When she told me that, it was a small gesture, but it made such an impact on me that I cried a little bit because I felt heard, like I had someone who really understood what it was like to see something that a lot of people find a symbol of fun and happiness scary and freaky. I think that it is important for me to know what people’s fears are, and try to accommodate to their needs and what they do and don’t like. I feel like because not a lot of people understand how my fear affects me, so I try to make sure that I really listen to people and what their fears are, and try to make them feel like they are allowed to be afraid of it, and not be judged. I wrote this letter out today because I have never met someone with this fear before, and I feel that if I write about it, somebody else who feels that same way will see, and know that it is okay to have a fear that not a lot of people quite understand yet. I know that I can’t be the only one, and for those of you who have this, and are reading it, I just want you to know that you are not alone. You are heard and it’s okay to get scared and not go to parades, or football games. It’s okay to get scared sometimes, to anyone that has a fear of any kind. I hear you, and I understand. Maybe I don’t understand why or how, and I know that we will probably never meet, but everyone’s fears and feelings are valid in my book! So if you’re ever down, just know that somewhere out there, there is someone who knows exactly what it’s like to feel how you feel. And also, did I mention that you have a great smile!