I tell myself I’m blunt because I care about you, I shout the truth too rudely and too loudly because I think you deserve honesty, I want you to do better, I want you to see that you deserve better.
I stay silent about myself, I’m silent about the fact that what I shout at you I dare not think about myself. I ignore the idea that maybe this is what you want.
I need to understand that you choose safety, I need to understand that you don’t know why I not capable of choosing the same.
I just don’t have that option, I don’t have the option to choose safety. I have to learn to understand that there may be beauty in safety, I just don’t believe in safety because I promised myself never to lean on it again.